Wednesday 17 September 2014

What The Actual Fuck?

It's a post-modern, post-future world and we (well, motorcyclists and younger people) seem to dwell in a sort of eternal mid '60s to mid '70s retro-fantasy where Steve McQueen is king of everything and an air-cooled BMW with no mudguards is the pinnacle of style and taste.

I don't like it, but that's the way it is.*

Why don't I like it? Well, because it's bullshit revisionism. If you want to be retro about something, be retro about something that actually happened, maybe?** And in any case, why not just be optimistic and future oriented? Just sayin', but retro is really just an indicator of an inability to deal with the present...

I was browsing Google Images the other day and I came across the picture below and my whole world shook. My finely honed, post-future, eternal-twentieth-century bullshit sensor went crazy and yet I was clearly looking at a genuine mid '70s image!***

My self-belief was badly injured and my confidence was shattered. And the early '80s Buck Rogers future-fantasy world that I personally inhabit lay around me in smouldering radioactive ruins.****

I looked at that image and I thought, fuck, it actually happened, that whole mid '60s to mid 70's thing was real...

I slept very poorly that night. Toyah Wilcox came to me in a dream and told me I'd never own a gas-turbine powered motorcycle with a HUD...

So the following morning I reluctantly looked at the image again only to be struck by the realization that it was a shot from a fashion magazine. It's not real! It's just a bullshit fantasy after all!!

My confidence, self-belief and unwavering commitment to my early '80s fantasy-future world were restored.

Roll on the future!

What The Actual Fuck?

*I'm glad I got that off my chest.
** I do understand that 'retro' and 'vintage' aren't the same thing.
*** You can tell it's authentic 'cos no one has any tattoos 
**** My personal early '80s Buck Rogers future-fantasy does that a lot actually.

#PostFutureEternalRetroFantasy #Mercenary #MercenaryGarage

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